The Friendship Challenge

Ky 💙

A few years back I had a conversation with one of my best friends (I have three lol) about the trusting the process. Funny how we can look at someone else situation and tell that there going through a PROCESS but when It comes to our own we act like it’s the end of the world.

Me and Toya often crack up about this there are times when I need her to be my backbone, my cheerleader, the one to talk some sense into me, even when she may not know that I’m listening. When she talks I don’t take her words for granted because I know how much she loves me and that she wants the best for me and vice versa.

About five years ago I was seeking God for friends those who would walk out the test, and trials with me and help me fight through the journey covering me no matter what. Like King David and Johnathon (1 Samuel 20) God didn’t budge on giving me exactly what I needed and unbeknownst to me Toya was somewhere praying that same prayer.

But there was again a PROCESS.

When I prayed this prayer I was having a rocky time in one of my friendships where I didn’t feel like I could completely trust that person. Not that she would hurt me intentionally but that the direction that I needed to go wasn’t the direction her life was going in. God allow for the relationship to go left just so I can bump into Toya at the right time. See we had been going to Woman, I Am meeting for months together but never established anything other than a hi and bye. God is strategic he always has a backup plan.

Latoya 💚

Sidenote: You ever felt as through you prayed a prayer and it didn’t get through? I’m here to tell you God has heard your cry. Keep pressing He is with you!

See y’all God knows what we need when we need it. But He needs us to trust Him in order for us to get the fullness of the blessing. I didn’t know at the time that I would have to loss a friendship that was dear to me just to be giving a gift. I didn’t know that it would come with some scars but now I understand why and I will say it’s well worth it.

So whatever it is that your prayer your playing tug a war with God about let it go. I urge you to give it to Him. Let Him do Him and heal you so that you can take another step forward into who you are!

The people who your surrounded with are KEY.

Shanti 💖

Let’s give the ones He wants to remove to God together!

Be sweet 🍯!

The Process

Written July 17, 2018

Man O Man the process... I find myself questioning this very thing. For the past 5 days I’ve been taking a close look at the life of Joseph and the process that he had to go through to get to the palace (read Genesis 37-50).The pit was unfavorable, the jail was unfavorable, being away from his father was unfavorable. Revenge, jealousy, envy, and hate carried him to Egypt but God kept him there. In the process he remained faithful to God. In the story not once do we see him begging God to remove the obstacles that we’re standing right at his doorstep.

So I had to ask myself why do I? Why do I want the easy way, no pain, no games, no hardships, no trials, no struggle just pure easy happiness.

But what if pure happiness comes with a price? Do I still want it? Do I suck it up when a trial comes my way so that in the end I can come out the way God sees fit for me to be?

Today I spent some times at the beach with God just reflecting and getting clarity about my life and “THE PROCESS”. Here I am 26 (almost 27) years old with a four year old co parenting with the person who I trusted when we we’re children to protect me no matter what. No matter the cost, no matter what we went through. I trusted him to be the one who wouldn’t dare to break my heart because when we were teenagers he would make sure I wouldn’t get hit by a train when crossing the tracks going to high school football games and look out for me in general like a big brother. He cared then and I expected him to always care. Funny how life turns a course on us.

A few months after I gave birth to my daughter, he found out that someone else was having his child as well. That crushed me! No we weren’t together but I trusted him to be responsible, my hope was in him. Not knowing that that would be what it took for me to hear God and even dare to try to develop a relationship with Him, to put my hope in Him. Which help me to grow past a lot of things.

Don’t get me wrong there have been some trials within the last four years. A little over a month ago I almost lost it because he decided he wanted our daughter to stay with him at his son’s mothers house. That was a tough pill for me to swallow. I couldn’t understand how someone can purse you so hard one day and when you make the decision that it may not be the best thing for you they can jump to the next. I felt bamboozled y’all.

I know, I know, I’m being real transparent but I’m hoping it’ll help someone. So my initial response was NO! and of course I had my reasons. But after I calmed down and allowed the Holy Spirit to talk to me all I could feel in my spirit was to let her go, I listened, I let her go but it wasn’t a easy night for me. It didn’t change the fact that I felt betrayed, I cried, I talked about it, I talked about him assasinating his character, I soaked and then I went out to dinner with one of my close friends and we laughed. I need that!

It wasn’t easy trust me but now here we are a month and some change later and by the grace of God I have no ill feelings inside when her father takes her for the weekend. Lately I’m asking him what days is he coming to pick her up and I’m glad to send her but that’s only by God’s Grace and His guidance.

Peyton’s 3rd Birthday holding a present from her dad

You know when you pray and ask God for something you always think it’s going to come one way but it ends up coming another.Even though it hurts it also causes something different to happen inside of us as well. It causes GROWTH. I use to pray to God when my daughter’s father was incarcerated for time to myself and here He was giving it to me but not in the way I expected it. Lol God is a character, funny man.

Through this specific situation I prayed several times asking God to heal me from any scars or wounds because I felt like a wound that had been healing was just peeled off again, and now I would have to feel the stinging while I heal.

My healing didn’t start happening though until I apologized to her father for bashing him. Whether he was wrong or not that didn’t give me the okay to talk bad about him. And yes it was hard for me to do, but it’s all for my good. I’m learning to trust God when I’m in the pit so that he can trust me when he brings me to the palace.

There are situations that God is intrusting us with because he wants to see if we will endure hardship or are we going to through in the towel especially in unfavorable situations.

Trust Him! He’s going to see you through.

Let’s push through “the process”

Be sweet 🍯

The Walk

Yesterday for me was a time of truly reflecting on what it means to have understanding. The Bible tells us in proverbs to get wisdom and with all thy wisdom get understanding.

As I was sitting in my office doing some browsing and some work at the same time I listened to Heather Lindsey drop bomb after bomb and jewel after jewel about how it’s important for us to walk out our steps of faith by trusting in the Lord. Funny thing is that faith is the very thing I’ve been struggling with.

How do I trust that God will lead me in the right direction when I don’t even know where I’m going. To understand God and His infinite ways helps me understand that just because I don’t know what the next step is doesn’t mean the next step isn’t planned out for me.

Dictionary.com says to understand means to perceive the meaning of; grasp the idea of; comprehend

For me to understand (grasp the idea of) an all knowing God means that regardless of what I may see I still walk by faith and not by what I’m seeing in front of me, it means I only move aside when He tells me to. The steps on my journey haven’t been easy but that doesn’t mean it’s not apart of His will.

Are you stuggling with your faith?

Let’s reflect about why you haven’t yet took that did the last thing that He directed you to do? Is there ware and tear because you want something that God is making you wait for? I know that I am in waiting and not just because of God’s delay but because of my own actions of going back to the things that He has specifically pulled me away from while I’m suppose to be serving, praying, and seeking His will for my life.

Let’s be proactive and allow understanding our understanding of God’s ways.

Be Sweet 🍯

The Shift

I can’t deny the shift that has taken place in our world today. There’s anger, pain, fear, confusion, heartbreak and all kinds of other feeling because of George Floyd’s death. Can I be completely transparent with y’all. A few days after the murder of George. I was determined not to get engulfed into the situation. I wasn’t going to watch the video (I had already made up in my mind). I wasn’t going to read every post that was posted about the situation. I was going to stay as disconnected as I can simply so that I wouldn’t have to deal with the grief, the hurt, and the pain that comes with it all.

I was conflicted y’all! Between me needed to know and me not really wanting to. So on Friday after work my friend came and picked me up and we went to grab some food and ate in the car (because yes we’re still technically on restrictions due to covid19).

As we sat it the car I turned on the video and I watched it! My heart immediately BROKE like right there. It broke I couldn’t believe that the police the ones that suppose to be protecting us civilians allowed themselves to be so out of control that they killed another black man for NO apparent reason. I WAS SHOCKED. As this man called out for his mother, for water, for breath, they (four white officers) did nothing.

I couldn’t BELIEVE it!

Do we not matter to this society? This culture? This world?

I recognize with myself that I had shut off that area of my heart so that I wouldn’t get hurt by the many situations that have happened around the would. I had been out of touch with the reality of what’s been going on Amaud ? Breonna? Chris Cooper?

I didn’t know because I didn’t want to feel it … Also I’m not comfortable with jumping on the bandwagon of what’s trending (Black Lives Matter Movement). So I waited … watched… read… prayed …

The reality of being born black set in in my own home late last year when my daughter who goes to a predominantly white school said to me that she didn’t want to be chocolate anymore. Imagine teaching your daughter since she was born that being chocolate is beautiful and one day she comes home and tells you she doesn’t want to be it anymore.

Red flags went up immediately. She told me that two little girls in her class said her skin looked like doo doo. I was fuming, my 5 year old daughter had come face first with an act of racism. I wasn’t ready. How long have we been fighting this fight ?

Today people are protesting. For the lives of George Floyd and others whose lives have been taken away by the hands of injustice. Also for generations to come. Black lives do matters!

I stand with them!

RIP George Floyd

Praying for Peace, Change, and Unity.

How are you feeling during this time ?

Be SWEET 🍯