I can’t deny the shift that has taken place in our world today. There’s anger, pain, fear, confusion, heartbreak and all kinds of other feeling because of George Floyd’s death. Can I be completely transparent with y’all. A few days after the murder of George. I was determined not to get engulfed into the situation. I wasn’t going to watch the video (I had already made up in my mind). I wasn’t going to read every post that was posted about the situation. I was going to stay as disconnected as I can simply so that I wouldn’t have to deal with the grief, the hurt, and the pain that comes with it all.
I was conflicted y’all! Between me needed to know and me not really wanting to. So on Friday after work my friend came and picked me up and we went to grab some food and ate in the car (because yes we’re still technically on restrictions due to covid19).
As we sat it the car I turned on the video and I watched it! My heart immediately BROKE like right there. It broke I couldn’t believe that the police the ones that suppose to be protecting us civilians allowed themselves to be so out of control that they killed another black man for NO apparent reason. I WAS SHOCKED. As this man called out for his mother, for water, for breath, they (four white officers) did nothing.
I couldn’t BELIEVE it!
Do we not matter to this society? This culture? This world?
I recognize with myself that I had shut off that area of my heart so that I wouldn’t get hurt by the many situations that have happened around the would. I had been out of touch with the reality of what’s been going on Amaud ? Breonna? Chris Cooper?
I didn’t know because I didn’t want to feel it … Also I’m not comfortable with jumping on the bandwagon of what’s trending (Black Lives Matter Movement). So I waited … watched… read… prayed …
The reality of being born black set in in my own home late last year when my daughter who goes to a predominantly white school said to me that she didn’t want to be chocolate anymore. Imagine teaching your daughter since she was born that being chocolate is beautiful and one day she comes home and tells you she doesn’t want to be it anymore.
Red flags went up immediately. She told me that two little girls in her class said her skin looked like doo doo. I was fuming, my 5 year old daughter had come face first with an act of racism. I wasn’t ready. How long have we been fighting this fight ?
Today people are protesting. For the lives of George Floyd and others whose lives have been taken away by the hands of injustice. Also for generations to come. Black lives do matters!
I stand with them!
RIP George Floyd
Praying for Peace, Change, and Unity.
How are you feeling during this time ?
Be SWEET 🍯