It’s always amazes me how the season change and new situations come sweeping in.
Currently I’ve been having mixed emotions about this season I’m in now.
Even though there’s a lot to be joyful for like one of my best friend is getting married in October and she asked me to be her maid of honor, my daughters father is home for incarceration so I have a little more free time on my hands, I’m growing a little everyday in each of my relationships whether it’s a growth from understanding and acting on something positive or seeing something negative and learning how to walk through it.
Even with the growth though I still feel unfulfilled, I still feel like there is something missing from my life and I’m having trouble finding it. I’m having trouble sitting still and trusting God to lead and guide my footsteps. I mean I guess we all get into these slumps right?
How do we smile with our friends when great things are happening in there lives and ours seem to be standing still and not moving? How do we truly be happy with ourself when it seems like we have nothing to be happy about?
Let’s be honest here, I realize that my discontentment has nothing to do with anyone else but everything to do with me. How I view things, how I manuever through difficult and happy times. Change can sometimes be one of the hardest but needed things in our life.
One that I’m going to continue to do is be hopefully about change. I’m praying the same for you!
It’s funny how God will position us in the right place at the right time just to receive something that He set up since before we even existed. I laugh because there’s so many times that I look back on and I’m like God wow that was you you did that for me.
Me little ole me what did I do to deserve that. But God doesn’t look at me or you as little at all see He has a predestined plan for our life (Jer. 29:11) that He’s putting together just so that we can for one fufill the work that He has for us on this earth and also so that we can be full.
You might say full of what?
Full of life, full of joy, full of hope, full of purpose, full of passion and most importantly full of love.
See it’s something about being exactly where God put me that give me a sense of me being worth it and I now understand that it’s because I’m doing exactly what I’m suppose to be doing where I’m suppose to be doing it and whether some days are harder than others there is still a grace that He gives me and you to do it.
For instance, I recently went through a period where I felt like I was ready to leave my now current church (Kingdom Keys Ministry) well I did that in September and from 9/9 – 11/11 I went back to the church I attended before I joined KKM and the experience was amazing I began to get filled up in the areas we’re I felt drained but I didn’t have any direction.
So I prayed and prayed and asked God what should I do but I didn’t get an answer you guys I mean really God was silent. I recieved answers about other prays but not this particular one until 11/11.
Let me tell y’all I went into service that morning excited because Bishop Calhoun was in town and I just knew he would have a fire word from the Lord that would push me closer to my predestined place but something interesting having when I stepped into the sanctuary this feeling came over me. I WASNT SUPPOSE TO BE THERE ! I knew it in that moment. I couldn’t lift my hands to worship like I normally would. I just stood there listening and singing but in my heart I knew.
Before I actually took the steps to rejoin the ministry I prayed that God would show me before Dec. 1st and unexpectedly He did that day. When Bishop started preaching his message was centered around “being where your suppose to be to fulfill your destiny” I was taking aback and I knew I had to go back because if not I would miss something major that was about to happen in my life.
NOW I am back in position was it easy, no but I’m pretty sure it’s well worth it! So anyone of you who may be feeling out of place speak to God and ask him even if He doesn’t answer you right at that second he will answer.
So what did I do? I listened …
Stay Encouraged, Stay Expecting , Stay in Position !
Wow! This one is one for the books. As I’m reading 1 (first) Samuel chapter 15. The word disobedience keeps popping in my head.
Have you ever been in a situation where your mother or father gave you an instruction but you didn’t follow all the way through with it. For example, my mom told me (instruction) to wash the dishes, sweep the floor, and cut off the lights. I decide that I’m going to wash the dishes, sweep the floor, but I’ll cut off the light later because I’m not going to bed yet. But I end of falling asleep and never turning off the light.
My mom wakes up notices the light is on wakes me out of my sleep and now I’m upset but it’s my fault because I didn’t follow the directions all the way through.
Have you ever been in a situation where you obeyed some but not the full directions which resulted in consequences?
Well this was the life of King Saul. As I’m reading I’m noticing how Saul wasn’t really good at listening and following through on what God told him to do. Not just in this chapter but in chapters before.
I watched (and I say watch because when I’m reading it’s almost like I’m watching a movie lol) how God gives King Saul specific instructions and he just moves outside of God everytime (go read 1 Samuel 13-15). Which resulted in him losing his place as the anointed king of Israel. So of course I begin to examine me.
How many times have I drop the ball in being fully obedient to God, His Word, and those in positions of authority over my life? If I can be completely truthful it’s an area that I struggle in greatly.
But y’all, I’m at a place where I don’t want to be that person anymore so I have been and continue to make different decisions even when there difficult ones. I realized through reading that some of King Saul’s disobedience stemmed from different areas like fear, pride, and a know it all spirit. Those things have to be dealt with in each and everyone of us in order for us to successfully move forward the way God sees fit.
TRUTH be told, each of our actions whether good or bad have a rippling effect on those around us as it did in King Saul’s life. We have to look at our true intent when doing things, look at what’s happening in our heart in order for us to truly repent.
Let’s examine ourselves together so we can be on the obedient side of the fence with the Lord our God.
Prophecy? Some of you may be saying what is that? What is Honey talking about? Let’s take a look at what the word prophecy means:
According to dictionary.com the word prophecy means:
⁃ the foretelling or prediction of what is to come
⁃ Something that is declared by a prophet, especially a divinely inspired prediction, instruction, or exhortation
⁃ A divinely inspired utterance or revelation
What if I told you that everything you speak out of your mouth about yourself becomes a prophecy (prediction of what is to come). Whether good or bad the things which you speak will come into existence if not now then somewhere down the line.
Let me share a quick story with you all. If you have been reading my post from the beginning then you will be able to follow along with no problem.
I’m taking you’ll back to when I was pregnant with Pey. Thing we’re rocky between her father and I and we weren’t in a relationship when we conceived her. If you were anywhere in my close circle you would know that I constantly would say, “I’m going to be a single mom raising my daughter, we’re going to be okay my mom raised all 5 of us and she was single. When Peyton turns 9 months old my husband is going to show up we will get married and we’re going to raise her together. He’s going to be a great stepdad.”
Constantly with no thought these were my words as the months flew passed. Not knowing that I was prophesying over myself and Peyton. I was calling those things I could not see yet as if it was already there.
9 months after I gave birth to this beautiful baby girl.
What did you all think happened?
I was working at this hotel as a bartender and that night I was schedule to work a party and you’ll I did not want to work this party at all. I went around the whole kitchen and bar area to see if someone wanted to switch but no one would.
With a pout I went to my station. As I was working. BAM a familiar face walks through the door and we meet eyes. My heart starts racing as a smile breaks out on both of our faces. All I could hear in my spirit was “HUSBAND”. He came over to the bar and wouldn’t leave until I gave him my number. I would have never thought, not that night and not this person. It was well worth it.
I spoke him into existence without even knowing that my words were powerful. You’ll that’s how powerful our words are. The Bible tells us life and death are in the power of the tongue (paraphrasing). Your words can become a self proclaimed prophecy over your life and your children (if you have them). Be very careful of what your saying.
SIDENOTE: I know you’ll want to know what happen with me and “MR”. Lol I’ll save that for another time.
In the meantime let’s SPEAK life over ourselves together.
THE SEED! I know your thinking what is she talking about. I’m talking about mustard seed faith. You know the faith that Jesus said you would have if you just had a little bit of it (paraphrased). The faith that would be able to to move a mountain BELIEVED. That’s the kind of faith that is growing inside of me right now.
At this point in time I’m reading the book of 1 Samuel (GO READ) and the interesting story that opens up the book is a story about a woman name Hannah and her faith. See she was believing God for a child not one that was promised, nor owed to her but one that she desired and her belief, her SEED opened up the door for that child to be born.
Hannah had MUSTARD SEED FAITH!
That’s the kind of faith that I’m believing God for in this hour. There are things that I desire that I’m petitioning God for such as a closer and more intimate relationship with Him. I understand that only my prayers and obedience to His voice will open up the doors. I can’t let anyone and anything get in my way and I won’t.
Not even myself ! You see my journey looks a little different from others and I have to be okay with that. I use to find myself in positions where I’m hanging onto other people’s faith without developing none of my own.
The Bible says, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”
⁃ Hebrews 11:1 KJV
I didn’t have a problem believe God for you, but I struggled with believing Him for me. I was lacking in the area of faith.
If you study a mustard seed, you understand that it is very small, yes it’s starts there BUT it grows to be one of the biggest trees planted and it has very deep roots.
I’m now growing to understand that when God says something to me that I have to hang on to THE SEED praying, fasting, and seeking until I can see the very thing I’ve been praying for.
I’m praying that you will grow in your faith the same way!
I must say that I love to take journeys and when I say journeys I mean the longer the timespan the more memories that are made, the more enjoyable the trip is. My family makes it a point to go on a journey at least once per year. Whether it be a flight to a resort, a Airbnb stay, a cruise, or a road trip we make time and we make a way as long as God sees fit.
I call myself an explorer. I love to see outside of where I am, to capture the beauty of other places, and to eat all different types of foods. But I ask myself what is a journey really about?
Dictionary.com explains the word to mean:
1. a traveling from one place to another, usually taking a rather long time; trip:
2. a distance, course, or area traveled or suitable for traveling:
The Thesaurus describes this word as adventure, exploration, expedition, travel, or progress.
See my family when we travel there is so many of us at any given time it can be between 4 – 16 with the children lol and there are laughs, tear good and bad, jokes, stories of different kinds, and just pure fun. Once a year we make it a point to go out of the country together on an adventure to makes memories that’ll last a lifetime. We’ve been to San Juan, Puerto Rico, Mexico, Grand Cayam Islands, Jamaica, Cuba, and Key West just to name a few. It is our way of bonding.
God has called us not just to work but to enjoy the fruits of our labor with those closest to us.
Order? You say what is that? Well let’s look it up. Google.com states that order means
1. the arrangement or disposition of people or are things in relation to each other according to a particular sequence, pattern, or method.
2. an authoritative command, direction, or instruction
As I sit here thinking and writing I can’t help but reflect on how my life is when things are in order for instance, clothes are washed, folded and put away, my room is clean no clutter, my bed is made with no access stuff on it. I feel a since of peace inside like I can accomplish some others things that’s on the list because these few things are done!
But let me tell you when it is out of order, when I’m running out of bed rushing because I’m about to be late for work. Yelling at Pey (not exercising the fruit that God has given me so freely) as if it is her fault that I didn’t wake up earlier and have everything together the night before.
See God is a orderly God. He works in an “arrangement of people and things according to a particular sequence, method, or patten using direction, instruction, and His authoritative command to do so”. See God is sovereign He knew before He even spoke the universe into existence that we humans would need order to sustain life.
Whenever I fall short of keeping order in my life I reflect on the fact that if I just sit and Listen to God’s voice He will direct me on what to do and how to do it. Is it that simple? YES most of the time it is. When we’re not running after our own desires it is. When we’re searching for Him in everything it is.
Each of us has an area in our life were we can use more Order. Why not start with asking God where, when , and how now so that we can be perfected in Him.
A few years back I had a conversation with one of my best friends (I have three lol) about the trusting the process. Funny how we can look at someone else situation and tell that there going through a PROCESS but when It comes to our own we act like it’s the end of the world.
Me and Toya often crack up about this there are times when I need her to be my backbone, my cheerleader, the one to talk some sense into me, even when she may not know that I’m listening. When she talks I don’t take her words for granted because I know how much she loves me and that she wants the best for me and vice versa.
About five years ago I was seeking God for friends those who would walk out the test, and trials with me and help me fight through the journey covering me no matter what. Like King David and Johnathon (1 Samuel 20) God didn’t budge on giving me exactly what I needed and unbeknownst to me Toya was somewhere praying that same prayer.
But there was again a PROCESS.
When I prayed this prayer I was having a rocky time in one of my friendships where I didn’t feel like I could completely trust that person. Not that she would hurt me intentionally but that the direction that I needed to go wasn’t the direction her life was going in. God allow for the relationship to go left just so I can bump into Toya at the right time. See we had been going to Woman, I Am meeting for months together but never established anything other than a hi and bye. God is strategic he always has a backup plan.
Sidenote: You ever felt as through you prayed a prayer and it didn’t get through? I’m here to tell you God has heard your cry. Keep pressing He is with you!
See y’all God knows what we need when we need it. But He needs us to trust Him in order for us to get the fullness of the blessing. I didn’t know at the time that I would have to loss a friendship that was dear to me just to be giving a gift. I didn’t know that it would come with some scars but now I understand why and I will say it’s well worth it.
So whatever it is that your prayer your playing tug a war with God about let it go. I urge you to give it to Him. Let Him do Him and heal you so that you can take another step forward into who you are!
The people who your surrounded with are KEY.
Let’s give the ones He wants to remove to God together!
Man O Man the process... I find myself questioning this very thing. For the past 5 days I’ve been taking a close look at the life of Joseph and the process that he had to go through to get to the palace (read Genesis 37-50).The pit was unfavorable, the jail was unfavorable, being away from his father was unfavorable. Revenge, jealousy, envy, and hate carried him to Egypt but God kept him there. In the process he remained faithful to God. In the story not once do we see him begging God to remove the obstacles that we’re standing right at his doorstep.
So I had to ask myself why do I? Why do I want the easy way, no pain, no games, no hardships, no trials, no struggle just pure easy happiness.
But what if pure happiness comes with a price? Do I still want it? Do I suck it up when a trial comes my way so that in the end I can come out the way God sees fit for me to be?
Today I spent some times at the beach with God just reflecting and getting clarity about my life and “THE PROCESS”. Here I am 26 (almost 27) years old with a four year old co parenting with the person who I trusted when we we’re children to protect me no matter what. No matter the cost, no matter what we went through. I trusted him to be the one who wouldn’t dare to break my heart because when we were teenagers he would make sure I wouldn’t get hit by a train when crossing the tracks going to high school football games and look out for me in general like a big brother. He cared then and I expected him to always care. Funny how life turns a course on us.
A few months after I gave birth to my daughter, he found out that someone else was having his child as well. That crushed me! No we weren’t together but I trusted him to be responsible, my hope was in him. Not knowing that that would be what it took for me to hear God and even dare to try to develop a relationship with Him, to put my hope in Him. Which help me to grow past a lot of things.
Don’t get me wrong there have been some trials within the last four years. A little over a month ago I almost lost it because he decided he wanted our daughter to stay with him at his son’s mothers house. That was a tough pill for me to swallow. I couldn’t understand how someone can purse you so hard one day and when you make the decision that it may not be the best thing for you they can jump to the next. I felt bamboozled y’all.
I know, I know, I’m being real transparent but I’m hoping it’ll help someone. So my initial response was NO! and of course I had my reasons. But after I calmed down and allowed the Holy Spirit to talk to me all I could feel in my spirit was to let her go, I listened, I let her go but it wasn’t a easy night for me. It didn’t change the fact that I felt betrayed, I cried, I talked about it, I talked about him assasinating his character, I soaked and then I went out to dinner with one of my close friends and we laughed. I need that!
It wasn’t easy trust me but now here we are a month and some change later and by the grace of God I have no ill feelings inside when her father takes her for the weekend. Lately I’m asking him what days is he coming to pick her up and I’m glad to send her but that’s only by God’s Grace and His guidance.
You know when you pray and ask God for something you always think it’s going to come one way but it ends up coming another.Even though it hurts it also causes something different to happen inside of us as well. It causes GROWTH. I use to pray to God when my daughter’s father was incarcerated for time to myself and here He was giving it to me but not in the way I expected it. Lol God is a character, funny man.
Through this specific situation I prayed several times asking God to heal me from any scars or wounds because I felt like a wound that had been healing was just peeled off again, and now I would have to feel the stinging while I heal.
My healing didn’t start happening though until I apologized to her father for bashing him. Whether he was wrong or not that didn’t give me the okay to talk bad about him. And yes it was hard for me to do, but it’s all for my good. I’m learning to trust God when I’m in the pit so that he can trust me when he brings me to the palace.
There are situations that God is intrusting us with because he wants to see if we will endure hardship or are we going to through in the towel especially in unfavorable situations.
Yesterday for me was a time of truly reflecting on what it means to have understanding. The Bible tells us in proverbs to get wisdom and with all thy wisdom get understanding.
As I was sitting in my office doing some browsing and some work at the same time I listened to Heather Lindsey drop bomb after bomb and jewel after jewel about how it’s important for us to walk out our steps of faith by trusting in the Lord. Funny thing is that faith is the very thing I’ve been struggling with.
How do I trust that God will lead me in the right direction when I don’t even know where I’m going. To understand God and His infinite ways helps me understand that just because I don’t know what the next step is doesn’t mean the next step isn’t planned out for me.
Dictionary.com says to understand means to perceive the meaning of; grasp the idea of; comprehend
For me to understand (grasp the idea of) an all knowing God means that regardless of what I may see I still walk by faith and not by what I’m seeing in front of me, it means I only move aside when He tells me to. The steps on my journey haven’t been easy but that doesn’t mean it’s not apart of His will.
Are you stuggling with your faith?
Let’s reflect about why you haven’t yet took that did the last thing that He directed you to do? Is there ware and tear because you want something that God is making you wait for? I know that I am in waiting and not just because of God’s delay but because of my own actions of going back to the things that He has specifically pulled me away from while I’m suppose to be serving, praying, and seeking His will for my life.
Let’s be proactive and allow understanding our understanding of God’s ways.