I turned THIRTY on September 2nd and unlike a lot of ppl I know I was actually excited leading up to it. 30 is a milestone. For me the months leading up to it felt like I had to make a very important decision. To be transparent it was about my walk with Christ.
Was I going to continue to waver too and fro. Was I going to going to continue to do my own thing? Was I going to continue to settle for the same cycles that seemed like a broken record each time I thought or talked about it.
I pondered… I wandered …. I was scared
Scared of what Nytavia? you may say… I was scared of both the possibility of being the same, not changing this next decade of my life because sure I felt like I wasted my 20s away chasing everything but God with all my heart. And scared of the endless possibilities of living up to the greatness that God put inside of me.
I was at a crossroads… to serve the Almighty God with all my heart, all my mind, and all my soul and step into the UNKNOWN BY FAITH… or continue to walk in what I know comfortable with brokenness, sadness, and disappointment, shame, guilt, and unforgiveness.
I spent months with these questions in my mind and heart but on JUNE 19th something happened. See one way the God speaks to me is through license plates. I was on my way to my cousins gender reveal with a friend and my daughter and as we drove we came to a stop sign. There was a car in front of us and when I looked down the plate said YES! I knew God was speaking to me so I speaking to Him lol yes God I’ll do whatever you need me to do. It’s rough out here. I said in my heart. Then we drove up probably about another mile or so and the car was still in front of us. I couldn’t get my eyes off it. As we pulled up to the red light there was a big truck,the car with the license plate that said YES pulled up to. The license plate on the big truck said 2 MONTHS. I was floored.
Right there JESUS was speaking. I had a decision to make and because of how things where going for me the decision wasn’t hard. I said in my heart, “God I have been chasing these men for 2 months straight, the same chase I gave them I’ma commit to you”!
I decided to give God a fresh YES. I wanted to walk in to 30 free. Which meant I had to let go of every sin and weight that so easily beseech me.
I started to take steps some big some small. Did I get free from it all before Sept 2nd ? No but with the leading of Holy Spirit my comforter. Step by step I started knocking things down and I decided to get back up. Not in my own strength but in God’s. Knowing that if I continue to delight myself in Him, my desires will be shaped by His for me.
Has it been easy ? NOOOOOOO there are people, places, and things that I love that for a season, or/and a time, and/or forever have to let go off in order to walk in the purpose that God has for me.
You remember when Jesus was in the garden of Gesthenme right before thr soldiers where coming for Him. He cried out to the Father for Him to take His cup away but then in the next sentence He said, “not My will but YOURS”. (Paraphrased)
#THISIS30 Not my will but HIS !!!!
Are you going through a season of seeking and searching for any and everything but God… I challenge you to put that same amount of time into seeking Him and watch how your life changes!!!
Be Sweet 🍯